Pass through the mirrors

SO....let's recap on my life right now.
My lip piercing got infected and closed. I'm getting it redone when it's healed (if you said I'm a go getter, damn straight---Have no idea if I ever cleared this up but...I pretty much said screw that, cleaned it less and kept the sucker open).
Hmm....I was slightly upset, scared because someone very important to me didn't log onto yahoo for awhile.
He finally did...and....life is just a bitch.
He lost someone very important to him...again. I feel horrible for him. I feel sick to my stomach. I wish that I could take some, or all, of his pain away. I'd do anything to know he's smiling.
I dunno...I just don't know what to say, really. I'm afraid I'll make him more upset or make him angry.
I just...bleh. lol. My blog is so illiterate in ways it's not funny.
My head's starting to hurt...great. Just what I need. Oh..I found out I had pneumonia. Woot! Now THAT was fun.
Grab a dictionary and look up SARCASM if you thought I actually meant that.
So...I'm hungry. I forgot to eat dinner again. Oh well. I can stand losing some weight.
Oh, I'm going to the movies with Holly, Zac and Whitney tomorrow. I want to see Watchmen or Coraline but I have a feeling Whitney will want to see Friday the 13th and so will Zac..but I might be able to...friendly persuade him...to side with me. Holly hates horror movies...so, 3 vs. 1. I think that's right..could be wrong. I'm just horrible at math.

But I dunno..I haven't really focused on anything tonight..I guess I'm just too worried about other people.

<3 bitches.="" br="" you="">

Oh, Insanity and I

So like...yeah! XD
NOT
Anyways, I haven't really BLOGGED in awhile. I've had tons of things to say but...no time..okay, that's a lie. I just didn't feel like saying them or I just...was too busy moping around to do so. Or i was wayyyyyy to busy convincing insurance companies that they should have policies for freakishly large lady bugs.
So yeah.
Let's see....Let's do lists!

Things that Annoy me

1. People who rp but don't wait for others to post
2. People who say "I'll check your bio this week" and don't and then say they just didn't have the time when in reality, they've been posting on three rps the entire time
3. Being cold and having no one to snuggle
4. Asthma and anemia(Oh woe is me! what other illnesses beginning with A shall find me??)
5. My dad going to bed really early---why?---because even though I'm an legal adult...my computer is still in my 'rents room...some bullshit over not being able to have a modem reach my room....apparently he forgot that, years ago, my computer was IN my room-internet connected.
6. Uhm.....
7. yawning....repeatedly....
8. <----is a loser
9. <---is the losers best friend
10. <---the ax murderer's secret identity
    
11. <---is the losers secret super hero identity
12. <---is the losers sidekick
13. <---is the losers stalker
14. <---is the stalkers rapist
15. <---is the rapists murderer
16. <---is the ax murderers mother OHHHH!! How's that for a twist???
17. <---is the losers x-bf who's really her brother, neither know

So...who's the ax murderer? 8, the loser? or 17, her x-bf who's also her brother...DUN DUN DUN

Okay so yeah. Maybe I should get back to the point..and what was that again?
Oh.
Yeah. Been feeling a little lonely lately. Not really bad. I've had friends like Jay and Alex(who are both wonderful and I loves you both) to keep me happy/company. But I dunno. When you turn 18 it's like...everything changes. You don't feel older, you just feel all the weight of the world bearing down on you. You start to really worry about shit like money, jobs, cars, your future..and being alone in said future. But hell, what do I know?

You Cut Up My Angels and I Stabbed You To Death

There has never been a time in my life where I didn't care for my friends. If I had to, I'd give anyone I knew, and liked, the shirt off my back. But I guess I'm not always that good to my friends. I can't always help them and it hurts me. Yes, I said hurts me. If my friend has a problem and I can't help them resolve it, it feels like I'm not only letting them down, but like I'm letting myself down and that maybe I just didn't try hard enough or that I just wasn't good enough.
But..anyways, that's enough being..3m0 for right now.

So yeah. I'm eating cheese and crackers. Not the block cheese, or the plastic-ish thin slice cheese, nope. CAN CHEESE! Now..who in the hell woke up one morning and was like.."I think I'll turn cheese into glue-like consistency and then put it into a can!" Seriously. Have you ever thought about that? I have...was this person just like...really weird or did they just like cheese so much they wanted to put it into a convenient travel size can?

I haven't talked to my best friend face-to-face for awhile.
That's sorta depressing. Last time we had a fight, it sorta didn't repair itself.
So that might be what's causing the problem.

Ever read the epic "Beowulf"?
Hehe. Funny thing.
My Eng. 4 class has read some of it....Grendel, Beowulf, The Battle with Grendel, Grendel's Mother, The Death of Beowulf and Mourning Beowulf....
So we, as small groups, are having to write scripts for certain sections.
It was my bright idea to do an modern day adaption. You know, it would have more room to be more creative. And I like being Creative. So, my group is writing The Battle with Grendel. We're trying to at least. I spent today laughing at Ben(the cool Chinease exchange student) and Jeremy. Yeah..Jeremy was shooting rubber bands..and shot one..but really didn't. It slipped off his fingers and fell on the desk between his elbows, and he was looking around, trying to find where it hit from his seat and all of a sudden Ben just points to the desk and is like "STUPID!' It was funny. I burst out laughing. Then they were fighting...over a book...and then Jeremy was trying to hide gum in his hair(it still had the wrapper, thank god). So yeah...we didn't get a lot done today. I did get the teacher to laugh her ass off though.
-Flashback-
Me: Hey! Jeremy, you know the fire breathing dragon that kills Beowulf..that should be his x-girlfriend.
Jeremy: Hey! Mrs.Graves! Angela said the fire breathing dragon should be Beowulf's x-gf!
Mrs.Graves: (looks like O.O)...rotfl
-end flashback-
yeah. it was pretty good. I think so at least.
So...yeahhhhhhhhh.
My nose itches terribly.
WOOT!!! OBAMA WON!!
Helllllllllllllzzzzzzz YEAHHHHHHHH.
lol


So yeah. I dunno what to think anymore.
Maybe I'd be better off without friends.

This Isn't All Right

I really don't know what to write right now. I just feel like writing, you know? Well, nothing is working out for me. Nikie and I fought again. I told her the constant changing of her songs on yahoo was annoying and she told me that I need to chill because she didn't do anything to irritate me, and I blew up. It's so funny how it seems like it's fine for HER to get upset and angry but when I'm having a bad day I'm this super bitch, breathing fire, and climbing the Empire State building with Miss Innocent, clad in all white, screaming her pretty little head off. It just pisses me off. It just seems like everything I do is wrong anymore. All my friends are angry at me over petty reasons. So all I have to say is this: Don't worry about me. I've been dead for a thousand years, being dead to every single one of you doesn't matter.

Don't call me 3mo, I won't sit in a corner and cry, I'll come after you with the broken axe in the shed.

I Love You Alex!
Your the only one who isn't angry at me-your the only one who has promised you'll love me forever-your the ONLY one.

Maybe all I'm doing is being depressive, being "emo" but I don't care.
None the less, sometimes I just wonder...
Do I mean anything to any of you?


Anyways, this is a video I taped like...friday. Really short.

Stop Correcting Me! Leave me and my errors in peace!!!

Ahhhhh. Today was the..uhm...*counts on fingers* the fifth day of school. And yes, I really did count on my fingers(I suck at math people, I'm not lying). So yeah. They really messed my shcedule up but oh well. It's my last year, thank god for that,too-in some ways.

First block hasn't been horrible yet, it's eng. so go figure. I have Suspension and Steering-automotive class- 2nd block. Chelsey AND Devin were in there but Devin opted out for a different class. So now, second block has three girls and six guys. Third block is History-stupid last year history teacher-it's not to bad it just seems like the teacher doesn't like me. fourth is alge.2 and I have Hunt, now Mrs. Copass and i love her to death so it's not to bad. Fifth is business math taught by Hagen and she's okay-she usually forgets what she WAS gonna do during class and ppl end up either doing errands for her or talking.

So, Mom and I are going to glasgow this weekend-cause a store called Underground Attitude is going out of business and we really want good chinease food. Hm. I have a test in Eng tomorrow, I just now remembered that. Opps. Oh well. Heh. I was eating these weird gummi bugs-yes gummi bugs not gummi bears. It was cool cause they have like..a liquid center and when you bite into it, it's like the blood and guts are rushing into your mouth. Pretty cool huh? ^.^ I like em!

Oui. I haven't been drawing a lot lately, or writing a lot. I don't know what's up with me, just really tired I guess. I was tired and didn't feel good this morning- I begged mom to let me stay home since I missed my bus- which apparently was 15 mins early according to my Grandfather. But nooooooo. I had to go to school..yippee?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. What else? Why do I even bother??? NO ONE READS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
O.o Guess I'm just that bored sometimes. I swear-I'm seriously considoring moving to alaska or something to raise penguins on a penguin farm.
V.V I have no more cigarettes. Oh well. I'll go get some more.
But yeah...I was gonna add something else but I forgot. Hm. Oh well...
...
...
...
Yeah. I'm done for now.

They Say High School Never ends. But it does, and too soon.

It feels weird, you know?
I woke up this morning thinking it wasn't right.
I must've dreamed the last three years away.
But nope. Tomorrow marks the beginning of my last year at an obnoxious high school.
They always told me the years would fly by and I never believed them.

I remember my Freshman Year.
My first block class was Brake Systems, in the Voc. school. The teacher was Mr.E. I remember what I wore that day,too. A Good Charlotte shirt, black Capri pants, fishnet leggings and boots. I remember that most guys in that class tried to treat Melissa, Amber and I like we weren't any good. We usually got put on clean up duty but it was fun since I usually got to tell every single guy that to do that day. Seems petty, but I enjoyed instructing them to scrub something off the floor. It changed. We still had to clean and direct the others how to clean but some of the guys came around to the simple fact that "girls can do that,too". I changed the oil on cars, took off tires, put tires on, took everything off the wheel and put on new break shoes and pads and put it back together.

I remember my sophomore year. I had an "self-paced" science class where the teacher really disliked Holly, Chanda and I. Holly always read in her class but we all got fussed on. She told us that we were behind but how could we be in a so called "self-pacing; self-teaching" class. I didn't like that teacher at all. She didn't explain things to us, she just handed out booklets and said "Here's all your work for the semester" I was waiting for her to add "good luck" but she never did. She fussed on students when they asked her help and would tell them to get a science book and look it up. A lot of people failed her class and would complain "she doesn't teach us anything!" It was no lie, she wasn't. She would take the time to work on the work she had from taking more college classes. We heard the next year that she wasn't doing that anymore.

I remember my Junior year.
I'm not much of a science person, but 3rd block Chemistry was fun. Not only did I have a handful of friends in that class(Jordan, Brad, Holly and Chelsey) but the teacher was pretty good. She took time to explain things- if we did absolutely horrible on a test she'd make us study again and retake it. She wouldn't let us keep the best grade but did average them together, either way it helped. She took her time showing us things, took time outs for little stories that not only pertained to the class but were also interesting(like the story about the time she blew a hole in the ceiling). During the end of the year, if the weather was nice and after we all had absorbed the lesson of the day and gotten our homework-she'd let us sit outside and work. After the CATS test she told us she felt we did our best and we ordered out for lunch. She was animated and made learning fun. When she was on the subject of atoms, protons and electrons-she ran around the students as an example of being an atom.
My English three class was my second favorite class that year( First Place went to Art 3).
The class was extremely easy for me. Sure-we had, altogether, 80+ vocabulary words, but I never failed one of those tests-I never studied either. He was a laid back teacher when it came to grading things like open responses, he went over the material for tests very well. And he was one of my ONLY English teachers who encouraged reading and who believed in us as a class. We were allowed to choose a novel from a list of four at the beginning of the year.
I chose the longest book on the list and had it read within the week. I asked him if it was okay in an apologetic tone. In other classes, when I or Holly had the assigned reading done quickly, we were scolded. He just told me to hold onto the book and asked me if I'd like to read another. I read all the books on the list before some people finished with the thinnest book. I read those four, then Catcher In the Rye, The Bluest Eyes, 100 years of Solitude, The Ballad of the Sad Cafe' along with other books my friends were handing to me.
He was happy that some students loved to read. And then, when it came time to read a book as a class he changed it. We were suppose to read The Call of the Wild but he felt we were to smart for that and we ended up reading "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald. It's one of my favorites now. I think my junior year was my funnest. I had fun teachers and plenty of books.

I don't remember my Senior Year.
How could I?
It's yet to begun.
It will though, in 13 hours.
I'm excited, but scared.
I'll miss all my friends but I know we'll keep in touch either way.
That's right people, the scary gothic looking girl will be crying on the last day of High school;the first day of the rest of her life.

He Said: Can I say something without getting embarrased?

So, Alex is one of the most sweetest friends I have. I knew that before tonight. Through thick and thin we will last. So, tonight, he asked me if he could say something without getting embarrassed. I said sure. And he sent me a file.

Angela,

You’ve entered my life

Giving me happiness

Yet not taking me out of the dark

The place most familiar to me

Ceasing the blood of constant suffering

Giving my life a meaning

Becoming my friend

Becoming my family

Saving me from loneliness

Wiping my tears as they fall

Creating an ease in my mind

Being one of the only ones…

The only ones to understand me

Now, how sweet is that?

DISCLAIMER: THIS POEM BELONGS TO ALEX DAMNIT! STEAL IT AND I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE